We are the champions!

I have been dying to write that as a headline on this blog all year but finally it is true.

Team Clothier have been confirmed as the top team in Division D of the Mendip Farmers Skittles League. Go us! With only two games to go after last night’s match, we have an unassailable lead in the table and we now look forward to the presentation evening in May.

Farrington Gurney will not know what hit it as we all arrive, dressed up to the nines, ready to party (like it’s 1949 for some of our older team members). The thing is, how else should we celebrate? It has been years since this team won anything, so we want to make a song and dance about it.

So far suggestions have included an open top bus tour around Wells and an entry in Shepton Carnival with us all waving to the crowds, who will not know the hell we are. Post your comments below and we’ll try and do them all!

Anyway, back to last night’s game, and we achieved a straightforward victory against Team Edwards from East Harptree. We won by 36, and took the first five legs quite easily. They were a good crowd and we had a right laugh which was the main thing though. Mr T Lethaby Snr top scored with an excellent 55, followed by Skipper who went spares crazy and still only managed 49! I hit an OK 43, but was left with the same horrible frame for three legs in a row, so I’m quite pleased with my final total.

Next week is another free one, so we next play the following Tuesday against Team Patch at the Crown in Ridgehill. A little phrase we use when trying to find this pub in the back of beyond is that if you reach Bristol airport you’ve gone too far – but only just! It’s blinking miles away so we’ll have to make a bit of an expedition to get there. Anyway, until then…

Go for wood!

Tim

Player of the week: The Fat Controller – FC (pictured second right in Royal British Legion mode) is a relative newcomer to the side, and a renowned Chewton Mendip resident. A smooth mover, he always seems to perk up when we are playing a women’s team. After hitting a spare, he is often heard singing his catchphrase: “Happy days are here again!”

For who the bells toll

What an alley. What a horrible, terrible alley.

Team Clothier played at a dog of an alley last night at the Bell Inn, Leigh-on-Mendip. My advice to anyone who has a fixture there in the forthcoming future is to make sure you have another engagement that night.

I hasten to add that there is nothing wrong with the pub at all, it is just the alley should send shivers down the collective spine of skittlers everywhere. I’m not sure what makes it stand out as being difficult – the length, width, small pins, heavy balls – but it was a nightmare to score on.

It says something when I was our team’s top scorer with 37. Yep, you read that correctly. Joe The New Kid and DJ both hit 36, and Skipper got 35, but we really were scraping the barrel. Nashy, one of our more consistent players, only got 26 with a zero scored in there – a fate also suffered by Wyatt Earp.

The game itself had an end-of-season feel to it, and we weren’t really too worried by our loss by just 1. Skipper left me a 10 spare to win and unfortunately I was only able to get 8 and not even force a draw. We are now waiting with baited breath, however, for the latest table to see if we are champions yet or not.

Thankfully we are back at home at the Poacher’s Pocket next week on Wednesday so we should see scores rise again. Well, that’s the theory. Anyway, until then…

Go for wood!

Tim

Player of the week: Skipper – our captain has been running Team Clothier for decades and has remained a constant when faces have come and gone. He remembers fondly the one season when we were in the top division, a bit like Bristol City. Famous for driving a car as big as the QE2, Skipper (pictured right) is a well known face in local farming circles.

Falling educational standards

The declining standards of educational standards, in maths at least, was ably demonstrated at our Team Clothier game last night against Team Alvis.

It was a really close game against a good bunch of lads and lasses, and their last man needed a seven to win. The Team Clothier heckling machine was out in full force but Tintin (as was chalked up) hit them much to his delight.

However, on counting up the leg totals and player totals things didn’t quite match up. It turned out they had got a few leg totals wrong and we hadn’t bothered to check. In the end it turns out that we won by four!

It was one of the weirdest ends to a game I can remember, which leads me to ask the question: What’s your weirdest conclusion to a skittles match? Get commenting…

What all this adds up to is that we may well be champions now. We are not sure because we don’t think the score card from last week’s game has been handed in yet. By the last table we had six points more than the teams in equal second. If you add four points for the wins last week and last night we would be 10 points clear with only four games to go.

Top scorer in the team last night was Nashy, who hit 51 with a spare on his last leg, followed by Joe The New Kid who, despite having futon issues, hit 46. Wyatt Earp was back from his finger-op so was on the bottom, but hit 54 to firmly cement his place back in the side. I hit 39, which was not helped by hitting a two on my first hand. The Fat Controller was in the Chair, hit 43, and pretty much broke even.

We don’t have a game next week as it is cup week again, so our next match is the following Tuesday. It is against Team Cambourne at the Bell Inn, Leigh-on-Mendip. I’ve never played there before, does anyone know what it’s like? Anyway, until then…

Go for wood!

Tim

Player of the week: DJ – the team’s official party animal, DJ (pictured right with his big jugs) has calmed down recently due to him getting a missus. That hasn’t stopped his missile-like deliveries which are done with the sort of speed Steve Harmison would be impressed by. I also still maintain that DJ has less hair than me…