The five half-pint challenge

This is all getting a bit silly – this week we won by 45. For the last couple of seasons we barely won by more than 10, if we won at all. This season we haven’t won by less than 32!

Pasty top scored with 53 and he was the only person Hurricane Hellard had to pay in the Chair. I scored 44, which was just above average, with the lowest score being 39 from the Fat Controller, which isn’t too bad.

There were two other forms of entertainment though. Firstly, it was a slightly tiddled Skipper, who had been on the ciders at the Mendip Ploughing Match all day.

Secondly, there was DJ, whose birthday it is today – happy birthday, you old boozer! As it was the game closest to his birthday, as is tradition, he had to see how quickly he could drink a half of lager, a half of Guinness, a half of cider, a half of real ale and a half of double vodka and lemonade.

This sounds easier than it is, as I showed when it took me a whopping 35-ish minutes last year. Pasty has done it in 29 minutes and Nashy in 22. There are people we know who have done it is 57 seconds, but they didn’t keep it all down afterwards so that doesn’t count. DJ, though, smashed the non-chunder record in an impressive four minutes, 50 seconds.

Therefore, my question this week for you to comment on is: how quick have you done the five half-pint challenge, or reckon you could do it in?

Next week we play away from home again, down the George at Gurney Slade on Tuesday. The George used to be our home alley, so it’ll be interesting how it has changed. Anyway, until then…

Go for wood!

Tim

Definition of the Week: Drink on nine – normally shouted when you have only one ball left and a pin on the far left and another on the far right. I’ve only seen one drink achieved out of this set-up…

Keeping up the 100% record

Another week, another large victory for Team Clothier. We are liking this D Division malarkey!
Apparently we are top of the table on pin difference so another big win has got to strengthen our position.

This time round we won by 32, but I didn’t feature in the team. I’ve had a rather nasty car accident and I’m walking around like a croquet hoop so I had to take the very important role as Chalky (see Definition of the Week below).

Nashy and the Fat Controller top scored with impressive 48s, but these were the only two Pasty in the Chair had to pay out to. He hit 47, with most of the other guys slotting in just behind.

The team we were playing are in their first season of skittles, were a fun bunch and were a real mix of ages. The game was played at East Harptree Club which has a bizarre concrete alley and a TV screen for everyone to see how many pins you hit down. Thankfully the rubber balls they had there have mercifully gone, and scores were higher than normal at the venue.

The question for this week’s blog which I want answering is: what’s the weirdest alley you’ve ever played on? The Harptree Club’s one has got to be up there…

By the way, a quick mention must be made to the website www.londonskittles.co.uk which has a link to this blog on it, and features all sorts of other skittles bits and bobs. It does appear to focus on a form of skittles that involves cheese (no, really) so go there and enlighten yourself.

Next week we aim to continue our 100% winning start to the season at home again at the Poacher’s Pocket. Until then…

Go for wood!

Sicknote Tim

Definition of the week: Chalky – the person who’s job it is to chalk up the names and scores on the alley blackboard (no interactive white boards like at school here!). To qualify as Chalky you must not be able to pay attention to the game going on around you or be able to add up.

A crushing victory

Simply unbelievable – Team Clothier excelled itself this week in our first home game of the season. Playing a team from the wilds of Ridgehill, we romped to a 90-pin victory. 90 pins! That is a thrashing only a sado-masochist would enjoy.

There were strong performances from all the boys, with Wyatt Earp being the star with a well-earned 50. I came in at 47, and everyone else scored well, taking money off the Chair in most cases (see previous blog for definition!).

The first controversial moment of the season reared its head though – the old chestnut of the no-ball line. Now, in C Division last year it was never really called, and we’re not too bothered about it, thinking that the further back you are, the better angle you have on the pins. However, there were a few comments from our opposition when Wyatt Earp and Hurricane Hellard threw a few which went just beyond the line. We promptly stood back and made sure it did not happen again, but is it really that much to worry about?

What do you think? Get commenting and we’ll see what the consensus is. I personally reckon is a load of fuss about nothing…

By the way, John’s nickname is now officially the Fat Controller!

It was nice being back at the Poacher’s Pocket for our home games, the new owners (well, they’ve been there months now) are really bringing it back up to popularity and it was nice to see so many there. Next week, we play on Thursday at East Harptree Club, with its concrete alley, rubber balls, and TV screen to watch the game by. Bizarre… Anyway, until then…

Go for wood!

Tim

Definition of the Week: Loose – The sort of shot which disappears down the gutter when you were aiming for the front pin. The word comes from the calls of: "That was as loose as your…" I’ll let you work out the rest.

Off to a flyer

What a glorious start to the season for Team Clothier – a win by 52! Surely life in Division D won’t be like this all the time?

With our opposition struggling to make up their eight players, we took advantage, winning every leg apart from one which we drew. Our last leg contained the only spare of the night, from Pasty, and was a 62 which is damned good for us.

Pasty led the way by hitting 47, helped by that spare, with Hurricane Hellard hitting 44, Nashy 41 in the Chair (see Definition of the Week) and me 40.

DJ might find himself out of the team next week with just a 34 but he was unlucky, his mind was clearly on his six (count ’em) dates he has over the next week or so!

We were playing at the Mendip Inn, so we were all pretty happy with our scores. We basically hate that alley as it is like playing skittles with Coke cans as pins and with rough-edged eggs for balls. There was no-one there either and I’m told the place will be sold soon, so who knows, the alley might have improved by the next time we play there!

It was decided at the game that John needs a nickname. We could only come up with rude or libellous ones, so I want you guys, the readers of this blog, to decide. Post your comments and I’ll pick the best one!

Our next match is Wednesday next week, our first home game of the season at the Poacher’s Pocket. Hopefully we can keep up our unbeaten run… Until then,

Go for wood!

Tim

Definition of the Week: In The Chair – Rotating through the team so a different player is in the Chair each week, the Chair is the beacon for which all others should follow. At the end of the game anyone who beats the Chair gets 50p from him and anyone who draws or is beaten by the Chair has to pay 50p. Suffice to say, it can bankrupt some of us…

Welcome to Inside For Beginners

Hello!
Welcome to Inside For Beginners, a new blog for the skittles players of mid-Somerset. There are thousands of us out there, so I thought it was about time we had our own space to talk about the action and the banter from the alleys.

First let me tell you about me – I’m in my eighth season (I think) of playing in the team L Clothier in the Mendip Farmers League. Over the years I’ve improved to such a degree that I can now describe myself as pants rather than rubbish. I’ve been the opener for years, but following our relegation to the heady heights of Division D (out of four divisions) I’m going to have a crack at being anchor man this year.

The team has been going for about 40 years or so, and is an amusing mix of old-timers and "young guns" (well, we are on the downwards slope to 30…). I will be writing this blog after every game talking about how we get on and the pubs we play in, and whatever else is on my mind! I want your views too, so get commenting! Also, every week I will be offering a definition of some of the most well known skittles terms which may be double Dutch to some people.

Team Clothier (as we like to call ourselves but are open to sponsorship!) is made up from me, Skipper, Mr T Lethaby Snr, Pasty, DJ, Nashy, Hurricane Hellard, Wyatt Earp, John and Joe The New Kid. We were all ready for our first match last night, psyched up, pumped, ready to go in the cup… and the other team failed to turn up! Not ones to avoid a game of skittles, we claimed the game and then played killer, which DJ somehow won.

Next week is our first league game, away at the Mendip Inn on Tuesday where, to be honest, the alley is a bit on the tricky side… Anyway, until then…

Go for wood!

Tim

Definition of the week: Inside for Beginners – a shot which a blind man would find a walk in the park but somehow you manage to chuff up big stylee