A long, long season is over

Having started in August last year, my four-a-side team lost last night in the Chewton Mendip Knockout Cup meaning our long season of skittles is over.

We lost by 22 to Pete Perrin’s team, but losing to them is no embarrassment. In the first round, their score was 22 more than any other team and their total against us last night was the second highest scored so far!

It was generally a close game though, as we were only three down after four legs and only six down with one leg to go. However, they then hit 38 off their four players leaving us a mountain to climb and we barely reached the foothills.

For us, I top scored with 46 which I was very pleased with on the Chewton Club alley – I’ve hit my two highest scores there in these last two games.

Elsewhere in the cup, Skipper’s side won in round one and play again on Monday, while Mr T Lethaby Snr’s gaggle had a bye after their opposition didn’t turn up. They take to the second round on Tuesday.

As for the main team, we now get to put our feet up and relax for the summer. By the time our season begins again I should be a married man and have survived a stag do at the Newt Beer Festival (pictured right).

My next report should be after our first game, which will probably be near the end of August, or if something of significance happens in the world of skittles. Anyway, until then…

Go for wood!

Tim

Team Clothier heckle of the week: “Are you sure you’re not busy next week?” Said to all of us at various points of last night’s game, as we performed somewhat erratically. At the start of next season, this section will become Alley of the Week I think…

Back in action

To plagiarise Grease (pictured right), summer skittles happens so fast…

Yes we are back in action already with the Chewton Mendip Four-a-side Knockout Cup, in which Team Clothier fields a whopping three sides. Skipper has a team, as do I and Mr T Lethaby Snr.

In my team are me, Pasty, Nashy and Wyatt Earp and we put in a top performance in the first round last night to win by eight. The reason it was such a good win was that the team we were playing was made up of players from the team which won B Division last season.

After the first two legs we were 10 pins down and I was beginning to worry that our interest in the cup would be over almost before it had begun. However, we upped our game and got things all level with two hands to go. The opposition then seemed to crack under the pressure and we pulled clear to win by eight.

I top scored with 47 including a spare, followed by Nashy who hit 45. Both these scores were impressive as we played, as all the games in this cup are, at Chewton Club. Whenever it has been raining, and it had been, the scores on this alley slump due to the brook running under the building.

Also, we had our entertaining league presentation night in Farrington Gurney a few nights ago. Having won the division, all members of Team Clothier got very nice engraved tankards and the team got a rather large trophy.

We, of course, then did the very mature thing – and filled the trophy with a mixture of all the spirits along the top row behind the bar. While us younger ones thought we could handle it, we were totally outshone by particularly the Fat Controller and Hurricane Hellard who lapped the concoction up.

The four-a-side teams of Skipper and Mr T Lethaby Snr both play next week, but the next match for my side is in a couple of weeks – round two of the cup. I don’t know who we are playing yet so it could be an interesting match. Anyway, until then…

Go for wood!

Tim

Team Clothier heckle of the week: “I’d have gone for that one too…” Said a few times to Pasty as he was shanking some shots down the side. He pulled a few good scores out when it mattered though…

The end has no end

After nine months of action and Team Clothier knocking around 10,000 pins down, the skittles season is over.

We have won the league by something in the region of 10 points depending on the last couple of results from other teams and it can only be hailed as a cracking year. We’ve hit the best scores we’ve hit for years and we’ve been taking far more spare opportunities.

We ended the season with a 43-pin victory over Team Witcombe but we had a bit of a fright. Having started with a good 71 leg we were somewhat disappointed when their anchorman hit an 18 spare and they pulled two pins. They then pulled more on the second leg and things were looking a bit gloomy. However, we upped our game and ended up easing to a comfortable win.

Top scorer on the night was the Fat Controller who hit 63, which is the top scorer by any Team Clothier player this season. He was followed by me with 51, which was my top score of the year as well.

There was a lot of interest in the averages and I’m convinced some players were more focussed on that than the actual game… After much heckling and banter, Mr T Lethaby Snr emerged as top average, despite stiff competition from Wyatt Earp, Nashy and Pasty.

The end of the season leaves a skittle-sized whole in one’s life but don’t worry, the blog will go on! I will write a report on the finals presentation night next month which promises to be a riot of a night – I’m not sure Farrington Gurney will know what hit it. Hopefully we’ll be given a trophy like the one pictured – but I doubt it!

Also, I will do reports after our four-a-side games throughout the summer. Team Clothier will be entering three sides in the Chewton Mendip four-a-side knock-out cup so hopefully we will all get past the first round. Anyway, until then…

Go for wood!

Tim

Team Clothier heckle of the week: “Off the alley!” Shouted repeatedly at a rather de mob happy Wyatt Earp who was strolling around the Poacher’s Pocket as if he owned the place…

Little Miss Skipper

The good thing with the end of the season is that everyone is chilled out and relaxed, and most often games descend into Mickey taking. And so it proved at our game against Team Patch last night.

The victim of our jokes was predominantly Skipper though, to be fair, he did not really help himself.

Having had a couple of shandies, Skipper decided that he needed to relieve himself and headed to the little boys room. Unfortunately for him, he went in the wrong door (pictured right) and was confronted with what I can only assume to have been pot plants, fragrant smells and tampon machines. The cheer when he emerged from the Ladies could probably be heard in South Wales.

Anyway, the game itself proved to be a straightforward victory for us champions, as we won five of the legs and drew the other. Of course, as we were playing at the Crown in Ridgehill finding the place was not so easy. Having set off what seemed like three days ago, our car eventually rocked up and five very stiff blokes eased themselves out of the Mondeo, busy massaging the feeling back into our legs. Actually, that last sentence sounds a bit dodgy – blame Pasty and his insistence on talking about adult TV channels last night…

Top scorer was Wyatt Earp with 47, stealing a march on his rivals in the list of averages for the season. The Fat Controller hit 45 and I hit 44 so there were some pretty good scores going round.

Next week sees yet another free week so we are back in action for our final game of the season a fortnight today. We are back at home and I’m sure there will be a bit of a party atmosphere. Anyway, until then…

Go for wood!

Tim

Team Clothier heckle of the week – “Go on, miss it you cheeky little ****”. Heard from the normally benign Fat Controller as his opposite player, the sticker-up, went to play. He was only aged about 12 FC – harsh, very harsh!

We are the champions!

I have been dying to write that as a headline on this blog all year but finally it is true.

Team Clothier have been confirmed as the top team in Division D of the Mendip Farmers Skittles League. Go us! With only two games to go after last night’s match, we have an unassailable lead in the table and we now look forward to the presentation evening in May.

Farrington Gurney will not know what hit it as we all arrive, dressed up to the nines, ready to party (like it’s 1949 for some of our older team members). The thing is, how else should we celebrate? It has been years since this team won anything, so we want to make a song and dance about it.

So far suggestions have included an open top bus tour around Wells and an entry in Shepton Carnival with us all waving to the crowds, who will not know the hell we are. Post your comments below and we’ll try and do them all!

Anyway, back to last night’s game, and we achieved a straightforward victory against Team Edwards from East Harptree. We won by 36, and took the first five legs quite easily. They were a good crowd and we had a right laugh which was the main thing though. Mr T Lethaby Snr top scored with an excellent 55, followed by Skipper who went spares crazy and still only managed 49! I hit an OK 43, but was left with the same horrible frame for three legs in a row, so I’m quite pleased with my final total.

Next week is another free one, so we next play the following Tuesday against Team Patch at the Crown in Ridgehill. A little phrase we use when trying to find this pub in the back of beyond is that if you reach Bristol airport you’ve gone too far – but only just! It’s blinking miles away so we’ll have to make a bit of an expedition to get there. Anyway, until then…

Go for wood!

Tim

Player of the week: The Fat Controller – FC (pictured second right in Royal British Legion mode) is a relative newcomer to the side, and a renowned Chewton Mendip resident. A smooth mover, he always seems to perk up when we are playing a women’s team. After hitting a spare, he is often heard singing his catchphrase: “Happy days are here again!”

For who the bells toll

What an alley. What a horrible, terrible alley.

Team Clothier played at a dog of an alley last night at the Bell Inn, Leigh-on-Mendip. My advice to anyone who has a fixture there in the forthcoming future is to make sure you have another engagement that night.

I hasten to add that there is nothing wrong with the pub at all, it is just the alley should send shivers down the collective spine of skittlers everywhere. I’m not sure what makes it stand out as being difficult – the length, width, small pins, heavy balls – but it was a nightmare to score on.

It says something when I was our team’s top scorer with 37. Yep, you read that correctly. Joe The New Kid and DJ both hit 36, and Skipper got 35, but we really were scraping the barrel. Nashy, one of our more consistent players, only got 26 with a zero scored in there – a fate also suffered by Wyatt Earp.

The game itself had an end-of-season feel to it, and we weren’t really too worried by our loss by just 1. Skipper left me a 10 spare to win and unfortunately I was only able to get 8 and not even force a draw. We are now waiting with baited breath, however, for the latest table to see if we are champions yet or not.

Thankfully we are back at home at the Poacher’s Pocket next week on Wednesday so we should see scores rise again. Well, that’s the theory. Anyway, until then…

Go for wood!

Tim

Player of the week: Skipper – our captain has been running Team Clothier for decades and has remained a constant when faces have come and gone. He remembers fondly the one season when we were in the top division, a bit like Bristol City. Famous for driving a car as big as the QE2, Skipper (pictured right) is a well known face in local farming circles.

Falling educational standards

The declining standards of educational standards, in maths at least, was ably demonstrated at our Team Clothier game last night against Team Alvis.

It was a really close game against a good bunch of lads and lasses, and their last man needed a seven to win. The Team Clothier heckling machine was out in full force but Tintin (as was chalked up) hit them much to his delight.

However, on counting up the leg totals and player totals things didn’t quite match up. It turned out they had got a few leg totals wrong and we hadn’t bothered to check. In the end it turns out that we won by four!

It was one of the weirdest ends to a game I can remember, which leads me to ask the question: What’s your weirdest conclusion to a skittles match? Get commenting…

What all this adds up to is that we may well be champions now. We are not sure because we don’t think the score card from last week’s game has been handed in yet. By the last table we had six points more than the teams in equal second. If you add four points for the wins last week and last night we would be 10 points clear with only four games to go.

Top scorer in the team last night was Nashy, who hit 51 with a spare on his last leg, followed by Joe The New Kid who, despite having futon issues, hit 46. Wyatt Earp was back from his finger-op so was on the bottom, but hit 54 to firmly cement his place back in the side. I hit 39, which was not helped by hitting a two on my first hand. The Fat Controller was in the Chair, hit 43, and pretty much broke even.

We don’t have a game next week as it is cup week again, so our next match is the following Tuesday. It is against Team Cambourne at the Bell Inn, Leigh-on-Mendip. I’ve never played there before, does anyone know what it’s like? Anyway, until then…

Go for wood!

Tim

Player of the week: DJ – the team’s official party animal, DJ (pictured right with his big jugs) has calmed down recently due to him getting a missus. That hasn’t stopped his missile-like deliveries which are done with the sort of speed Steve Harmison would be impressed by. I also still maintain that DJ has less hair than me…